Chillin'

I read a quote today, from this book that I'm currently reading:

"The answer, the strength, the right action or the resource will be there when you need it, not before, not after." -Eckhart Tolle

This provided me with so much calmness and ease for the rest of the day..hopefully that feeling can last longer than the time it took me to read this line. I've already experienced this phenomenon, as I'm sure most people have. I'm still working on my philosophy, but somewhere in there, lies this message. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'd rather spend my life trying to work out this dilemma.

I've been so concerned about the direction of my life for that past  3 years, mainly because I feared the future and the surplus of options. People everywhere seemed so concerned with my future than I was. Always asking what was I going to do next, so much so that it became stressful, even thought I know that people only ask when they care...and for that I was and am grateful. However, I got to the point where I stopped caring about my "future" because I realized that there was no way for my to predict it. The "future" is an abstract idea, which, by definition cannot be predicted only postulated...that is what I believe, anyway. But once I gave up on the future, it began and is beginning to open. So, even now, I try not to think about my future, because it takes time away from me enjoying the now, the today, the moment. This morning's sunrise will never be seen again. This evenings rainshower will never be experienced again. I don't want to be one of those people that are too busy worrying about tomorrow when today is as ripe as it can be.

I say, "Don't let your food spoiltoday because you want something to eat tomorrow."

I DO think that one should always prepare for the possibility of change, because change is the only thing that's guaranteed...but what if I wake up one day, roll over, see my wife sleeping next to me..walk to the bathroom, trip over the toys in the hallway from my children, look in the vanity mirror and see that I'm 40 years old and Ive spent my best and youthful years....just waiting for tomorrow.

You can't get that back, so I say that there's no tomorrow..that doesn't mean that I believe people should go crazy or waste all their money..no no no. What I think is that  I should spend more time doing the things that I find interesting today, than spend time wishing for someth ing more interesting to come tomorrow. Money will come...it most definitely will go, but if you have enough to cover the bare necessities and a little saved up for a "rainy day"...what else do you need, really. But again, if you have family and kids to worry about...tuition, mortgage..I don't know how I would apply  my own philosophy. Perhaps this is just a way for me to "run" away from life's responsibilities, but Ive read a quote...and I'm paraphrasing...that said that One often finds his destiny on the very road he takes to run from it. I will take that approach because if nothing else...I'll get to where I was meant to BE, while creating a unique experience along the way...and if it doesnt work, at least in the end i can say that that was a Choice I had made and that alone will provide some solace in my unknown future.

Local news:
Got my first heavy rainfall yesterday and holy crap...when it rains, it definitely pours.
Work is going well. Learning a lot. Someone asked me earlier this week what it was that I did, and so I explain in an overly verbose way, to a native Dutch speaker, and they said in a broken english..so..you..sailor. I was about to refute the claim, but then I thought to myself, how would I..except by saying Im not in the navy....so cool, I guess im a sailor...cool.

Went to a couple of bars and clubs...very cool

I was watching a group of people (5 or 6) standing across from me, having a conversation and I realized that most people like to rest on something or lean on a wall whilst standing and conversing. Those who stand without the aid of some object, they look funny. And by that I mean. most people don't know what to do with their hands...their whole disposition is awkward. I find that interesting The ones who were leaning on a wall, bar or what have you, seem to look more comfortable. Just something that I noticed.