Having a great day. Haven't done anything besides being on the water. Still desperately need to do laundry..still need to go grocery shopping, still need to do alot of little things around the house ..but h\ haven't found the tie or energy to do them. I'm having too much fun just, Being. Besides my boss pissing me off every now and then, I'm pretty much good. The high season is here, which means that money is to be made in excess. Many hours on the water again and it feels great. Life pulls us out of our comfort zom\nes, only to reassure us that things only get more interesting once we step out of our boundaries. The only problem is that I find that I have reestablished my comfort zone to include St. Maarten....What a beautiful island to live in/on. So I wish to leave....simply because I love it here. THere's this yearning within that seeks new adventures, and although I haven't seen everything this island has to offer, I've seen enough to know that I can make it here, so I wish to go further...somewhere where I can test my skills even more, push my boundaries even further, and see a new horizon. I realize that I love to travel to "unknown" places...unknown to me at least. I have to wish to live a life that is preestablished and designed to accomodate the mass populace. I wish to go far and beyond anything I've been taught to accept. To see new plaes and new people for no other reason than to do it and enjoy the experience. Will this all happen, maybe, maybe not...but I will try my best to make it so. Home will always be there...thats one of the benefits of home, that it will always be a source of comfort...I do not seek comfort....in order to grow, one must reach beyond comfort and into the great vast void of potential promise.....only there will one know what they are made of...and take the lessons from prefious journeys into new expeditions...this is my goal...and we shall see what comes of it.
We are living in exciting times and I wish to live it up as much as I can, for no other reason than to satisfy my curiosityabout this world we live in. In 40 years, if I were to live that long, I want to look back and say yes....I did it unlike anyone else....which may not be the case in reality, but when my days are done, I want my story to be unique, and inspiring....what story is it? I don't know yet, but the only way to find out is to go further, deeper and faster into this world of experiences that are there, waiting to be had. I've finally reached a point where I can say that I have submitted myself to the will of the universe. I have consciously put all my faith and trust in the universe to provide for me, everything I will ever need and want, and all I have to do is believe that in the end, things will work themselves out in a way that I can never imagine with my limited perspective. Once you reach that point....so much stress is relieved and so many opportunities present themselves and so much promise is to be had. Things will never be perfect, but once you know that it will be OK in the end, it frees your mind and grants you the space to move freely and without any hinderance.This sounds almost religious, and I am a mn that despises religion for I believe that it is a way for men to keep other men at bay and in a submissive state. However this feeling that I am sure is real, is somehow similar to those felt by followers of a sect, but without the dogma. I realize that it is not "religion" I despise...it is the dogma that propells religion. THe narrow minded views of those in power to control the masses mby promising an everlasting love under certain circumstances. The basic message of most religions overlap and have pure foundations, but have been tainted by human perception and interpretations. Such a simple message has been used to wage wars. and much worse. I cannot willingly accept these "truths". I know what I believe and it is this fact that allows me to move confidently and securely in this world because I believe that the simple message that resonates throuout all things is a positive one and can nver be used for malicious ends.
This faith must be learned through trials and errors....and boy have I erred. It is only recently that I've noticed certain trends in life that repeat and seem to be pointing to a certain path...one that I cannot descrbe in words, but one that includes all beings and is clearly on a positive tangent. Everyday clues are made manifest, and if only we can pay attention to these clues and use them to make better decisions in the future, there will be nothing fear or worry about for we will know that everything that is made manifest is made good. I see this now for the first time, and I am glad that this insight was done without the tainted lens of dogmatic principles.
So yea, all in all, I'm having a good day but my time is nearly up and I am hungry so till next time....
ONE LOVE and be well.
King
Saturday, November 26, 2011
It's been a while...
My "SmartPhone" broke. Calling on skype and sending emails from my phone are things of the past. Saving up for a laptop now. Money comes. Money goes. C'est la vie. Tokk a survival at sea course 2 weeks ago..Five days of what to do when all hell breaks loose on a boat...pretty cool stuff....firefighting, water survival, first aid and personal responsibility. I am officially a mariner...cool stuff. I wonder if it's ok to not have a "Life" plan, because I surely don't. Things come my way and I either take the opportunity or let them pass as they go. That's the best that I can do at the moment. All I can do is prepare myself for the things I wish to pass by my door, so that when the time comes and an opportunity comes knocking, I can say "Yes, I am qualified for that." But that is the closest thing to a life plan that I have, or that I'm willing to make...for the moment...scary but not boring.
I came here, thinking that since I haven't posted in a while, that there would be a plethora of words just waiting to be thrown onto the screen.....nope...everything is good. Life is good. I know that this journey of life is just an instrument of learning...and boy, am I learning.
I came here, thinking that since I haven't posted in a while, that there would be a plethora of words just waiting to be thrown onto the screen.....nope...everything is good. Life is good. I know that this journey of life is just an instrument of learning...and boy, am I learning.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Random thoughts of the day
Women....when I want them, they are nowhere to be found. When I'm fully contented, they swarm me and I become annoyed. I guess there are worse problems to have. I'm actually in a place right now where I do not feel the urge to WANT a woman....I love em....easily the greatest creation on this physical realm...but I no longer feel the need to aquire female companionship...there are other things on my mind right now. Women will always be there, but the things I feel I need to do have a short window of opportunity before acquisition becomes problematic. Now that my attention is in a different direction, I notice that women are paying more attention to me...in subtle ways of course, but I notice the attention none-the-less. The timing is off...I'm kind of busy at the moment. I have neither the funds nor the time to put into a courtship, for a lack of a better word...but I DO love the attention, trust me on that.
Some guys pursue every woman that passes their way....imagine the amount of energy that takes.....no thanks. My guy friends think I'm weird lol. I pick and choose, and I usually get through, but I can't play this game. To be honest, I'm not sure I could keep up with the other guys in terms of their zest, zeal and persistence in acquiring women. I see these guys put in soo much effort in courtship and for whatever reason, I'm unimpressed. I tried it and I became annoyed with the process. Come, sit, let us have a drink and a chat and space permitting, a dance. That's all I need. No fancy words, no promises, no grand gestures. Life isn't built on grand gestures. I'm looking for something more solid yet more mysterious. I don't know how else to explain it. All I know is that now I'm in a mind frame of getting things done, and I'm being distracted by these beautiful women; associates, friends, women that I see everyday during social hours. But as I said, when I was looking their way they were uninterested but now that my gaze is past the horizon, they wish to block my view. I honestly don't get it. Perhaps I'm not meant to. Either way, its a fun game to play and I'm grateful for the attention.
Went sailing today. The water was as clear as glass. The boat was gliding so smoothly that you'd forget there was water underneath. Slicing through that water like a razor. Not hearing anything but the sound of the wind, and an occasional spray mist of water coming over the deck. Yea, not a bad day. People think that my life is the greatest thing because of where I live and what I do, but to be honest, after a while everything becomes normalized.....almost. I never tell people of the bad that I see. The dark side of this sun. I only like to tell stories that reassure people of the wonders of life. I write of them better than I speak of them, but that's my goal. I figure that most people hear enough negative news in their own lives that I need not add to the psychological weight of negative energy. Whether this is a good thing or not, who knows, but telling good stories and relaying positive images reinforces my positive well being as well, and so that's what I do. We so quickly forget how beautiful life is. Every breath we take should be one of thanks and praise. I love my life, even the grimey parts. I wasn't always able to say that honestly, but now that I can, I try to say it every day so long as this feeling lasts. We all have our off days and bad days, but taken as a whole, realizing that we only have about 80 years of this stuff...realizing that I'm already 26, nearing 27...realizing that one day life will throw something my way that may catch me off guard and send me flying...realizing that although I may not be in complete control of my life, some executive decision must surely pass by my desk before they are approved....knowing these things puts me in the drivers seat and that feeling of control, however slight it may be, is enough for me to be excited about the possibilities that lay before me. If you listen very carefully, hints are thrown your way via you interactions with other people. I see now that being solitary may not be the best way of living, because thinking practically, you learn and grown in proportion to the level of interaction you have with your environment, and I can tell that the rate of my growth, be it spiritual, mental , psychological is increasing at a slow but steady rate and this rate is increasing as time passes. I could not have doe this had a I been cloister and alone all the time. So on that level I thank my friends and other people that have entered my life and have shown me a way that was more efficient that the way I previously had known. The flip side, however, is that people annoy me. Their problems and issues and insecurities...I have my own, and to have to deal with yours as well is tiring. When I sail, these things disappear. These daily dealings with the "Other" as many existentialists would say, become minute when I'm on or in the water. Once we get back to land and everyone's ego's are reawakened, arrrghhhh...people annoy me severely. So I look for those moments; those clear moments of interaction that two people feel when there is nothing between them but genuine camaraderie...when the God spirit in me, greets the God spirit within you...thats what I seek in my interaction between persons. I can't make it happen...sometimes it does, and sometimes there seems to be a wall between myself and the person with whom Im speaking. And this wall prevents any sort of honest spiritual communication. I hate those moments...they make me cringe. As I become older, however, I realize that it's becoming easier for me to reach that level of communion with other persons. Thats good. THat's what I look for. Let us put away of prejudices and differences for one instance and learn from one another. If you wish to be my enemy thereafter, then so be it, but let us at least agree that two men have met here...sans ignorance and prejudice. You need not take the bullets from your gun, but you should at least be able to take your finger off of the trigger....thats not asking for much....just understand that if you do decide to cross the line, that my gun is loaded and my aim has improved.
Till next Time
Forever Loving JAH
King II
Some guys pursue every woman that passes their way....imagine the amount of energy that takes.....no thanks. My guy friends think I'm weird lol. I pick and choose, and I usually get through, but I can't play this game. To be honest, I'm not sure I could keep up with the other guys in terms of their zest, zeal and persistence in acquiring women. I see these guys put in soo much effort in courtship and for whatever reason, I'm unimpressed. I tried it and I became annoyed with the process. Come, sit, let us have a drink and a chat and space permitting, a dance. That's all I need. No fancy words, no promises, no grand gestures. Life isn't built on grand gestures. I'm looking for something more solid yet more mysterious. I don't know how else to explain it. All I know is that now I'm in a mind frame of getting things done, and I'm being distracted by these beautiful women; associates, friends, women that I see everyday during social hours. But as I said, when I was looking their way they were uninterested but now that my gaze is past the horizon, they wish to block my view. I honestly don't get it. Perhaps I'm not meant to. Either way, its a fun game to play and I'm grateful for the attention.
Went sailing today. The water was as clear as glass. The boat was gliding so smoothly that you'd forget there was water underneath. Slicing through that water like a razor. Not hearing anything but the sound of the wind, and an occasional spray mist of water coming over the deck. Yea, not a bad day. People think that my life is the greatest thing because of where I live and what I do, but to be honest, after a while everything becomes normalized.....almost. I never tell people of the bad that I see. The dark side of this sun. I only like to tell stories that reassure people of the wonders of life. I write of them better than I speak of them, but that's my goal. I figure that most people hear enough negative news in their own lives that I need not add to the psychological weight of negative energy. Whether this is a good thing or not, who knows, but telling good stories and relaying positive images reinforces my positive well being as well, and so that's what I do. We so quickly forget how beautiful life is. Every breath we take should be one of thanks and praise. I love my life, even the grimey parts. I wasn't always able to say that honestly, but now that I can, I try to say it every day so long as this feeling lasts. We all have our off days and bad days, but taken as a whole, realizing that we only have about 80 years of this stuff...realizing that I'm already 26, nearing 27...realizing that one day life will throw something my way that may catch me off guard and send me flying...realizing that although I may not be in complete control of my life, some executive decision must surely pass by my desk before they are approved....knowing these things puts me in the drivers seat and that feeling of control, however slight it may be, is enough for me to be excited about the possibilities that lay before me. If you listen very carefully, hints are thrown your way via you interactions with other people. I see now that being solitary may not be the best way of living, because thinking practically, you learn and grown in proportion to the level of interaction you have with your environment, and I can tell that the rate of my growth, be it spiritual, mental , psychological is increasing at a slow but steady rate and this rate is increasing as time passes. I could not have doe this had a I been cloister and alone all the time. So on that level I thank my friends and other people that have entered my life and have shown me a way that was more efficient that the way I previously had known. The flip side, however, is that people annoy me. Their problems and issues and insecurities...I have my own, and to have to deal with yours as well is tiring. When I sail, these things disappear. These daily dealings with the "Other" as many existentialists would say, become minute when I'm on or in the water. Once we get back to land and everyone's ego's are reawakened, arrrghhhh...people annoy me severely. So I look for those moments; those clear moments of interaction that two people feel when there is nothing between them but genuine camaraderie...when the God spirit in me, greets the God spirit within you...thats what I seek in my interaction between persons. I can't make it happen...sometimes it does, and sometimes there seems to be a wall between myself and the person with whom Im speaking. And this wall prevents any sort of honest spiritual communication. I hate those moments...they make me cringe. As I become older, however, I realize that it's becoming easier for me to reach that level of communion with other persons. Thats good. THat's what I look for. Let us put away of prejudices and differences for one instance and learn from one another. If you wish to be my enemy thereafter, then so be it, but let us at least agree that two men have met here...sans ignorance and prejudice. You need not take the bullets from your gun, but you should at least be able to take your finger off of the trigger....thats not asking for much....just understand that if you do decide to cross the line, that my gun is loaded and my aim has improved.
Till next Time
Forever Loving JAH
King II
Friday, October 14, 2011
Refreshed
OK lets see. I'm going to try this blogging thing again. It's a good way to unwind in a construuctive way. I went home for 3 weeks in September to visit the family. Had a great time. I was worried that I may not get back into St. Maarten because im travel and immigration laws but that seemed to have worked out...or is in the process of being worked out. So now I'm back for round two. Ian vs. the Island. I like it here, I really do. Could I live here forever? No. I'm realizing that I have a very curious spirit. It was a surprise to me too. The act of travelling to an unknown land excites me unlike anything I've ever done before, and I don't want to stop here. I'm not concerned with where I will go 'next', because I want to enjoy being here, NOW. So many ppl are so focused on their next step that they dont enjoy where they are at the moment. Planning has its time and its merits, but one must never forget to experience the fullness that is NOW. I've learned to do that on this island on a level on which I've never done before. It is very true that places like these slow you down...whether you want them to or not...but sometimes it's better to just go with the flow. Since I've been here, Ive been forced to slow don my thinking, and my movements in a way that I thought impossible in my previous surroundings, which is funny since I've never been known to be a quick mover and shaker back home.
I see things differently now. I still don't act on my new perspective as much as I should, but I definitely see things in a larger scope. To put this in words will only sound like a quasi metaphysical explanation of a pseudo spiritual movement, so I will not explain any further. Just let it be known that I am happy, content (and starting to become too content) and loving life more fully that I have 10, 5 or even 2 years ago. I guess that was the point. Is that maturity? Who knows...All I can say is that I have no clue about where I'm going and why, but I'm enjoying the ride and I do not fear the destination. I've made really good friends along the way, whilst reminding myself to remain an independent voyager, NEEDING no one but enjoying the company of those around. This will be a year for positive changes. Things never go according to planned, but as long as you are flexible enough and strong enough, you can get through anything. I hope that is the case because I've put my money on that bet. Once you let go, you realize that there are far more opportunities lying in the midst that you thought were possible by just holding on you whatever way of life you've had; or way of thinking.
Life truly is Good. A cherished part of existence. I can only hope that I hacve the same view when tragedy may hit my life. It's easy to love life when things are good. Can I be as optimistic when the chips are down? Should I even be thinking like this? Who knows. I'll not dwell too long on things I can't control.
Some news updates:
I am one class away from being a rescue diver. Next class is on Sunday. I really enjoy scuba diving. I need to get an underwater camera so I can have some pictures of this beautiful underwater world. It's funny how certain things come so easily to you. It's almost as if these skills were given to you. Easy stuff. Some ppl just can't handly the underwater world of scuba diving...too foreign to them? perhaps...the idea of artificial air, weightlessness...who knows...for me...its a perfect fit. Its how I like to relax. 90 ft below sea level chasing a sea turtle...'floating' on my back staring at the sun through what seems like an eternity of blue water. How many time in your life can you do cartwheels without touching anything,,,and loop-de-loops ...its truly amazing.
Also, amazon is coming out with a color version of the kindle in late november...I want that. We all want things and I want that.
My time in this internet cafe is nearly done, so until next time
Forever Loving JAH
Ian
I see things differently now. I still don't act on my new perspective as much as I should, but I definitely see things in a larger scope. To put this in words will only sound like a quasi metaphysical explanation of a pseudo spiritual movement, so I will not explain any further. Just let it be known that I am happy, content (and starting to become too content) and loving life more fully that I have 10, 5 or even 2 years ago. I guess that was the point. Is that maturity? Who knows...All I can say is that I have no clue about where I'm going and why, but I'm enjoying the ride and I do not fear the destination. I've made really good friends along the way, whilst reminding myself to remain an independent voyager, NEEDING no one but enjoying the company of those around. This will be a year for positive changes. Things never go according to planned, but as long as you are flexible enough and strong enough, you can get through anything. I hope that is the case because I've put my money on that bet. Once you let go, you realize that there are far more opportunities lying in the midst that you thought were possible by just holding on you whatever way of life you've had; or way of thinking.
Life truly is Good. A cherished part of existence. I can only hope that I hacve the same view when tragedy may hit my life. It's easy to love life when things are good. Can I be as optimistic when the chips are down? Should I even be thinking like this? Who knows. I'll not dwell too long on things I can't control.
Some news updates:
I am one class away from being a rescue diver. Next class is on Sunday. I really enjoy scuba diving. I need to get an underwater camera so I can have some pictures of this beautiful underwater world. It's funny how certain things come so easily to you. It's almost as if these skills were given to you. Easy stuff. Some ppl just can't handly the underwater world of scuba diving...too foreign to them? perhaps...the idea of artificial air, weightlessness...who knows...for me...its a perfect fit. Its how I like to relax. 90 ft below sea level chasing a sea turtle...'floating' on my back staring at the sun through what seems like an eternity of blue water. How many time in your life can you do cartwheels without touching anything,,,and loop-de-loops ...its truly amazing.
Also, amazon is coming out with a color version of the kindle in late november...I want that. We all want things and I want that.
My time in this internet cafe is nearly done, so until next time
Forever Loving JAH
Ian
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Welcome Back...
Not sure where to begin..its been a while....a long while ...since I've updated this blog. My laptop was stolen, so getting online became a chore. Alot has happened in a relatively short priod of time. Some good, some bad, but thats olife. It's not what happens to you that is important. It's how you react and adapt the the changing circumstances that shows what you're made of in this world.
I've learned alot about myself and others and I'm still only scratching the surface. I'm not sure what will become of this blog but for now, here it is, for whoever is listening. Even if I'm the only one following this, it's still theraputic in its own right.
So let's see. I lived with 3 other guys and a girl. THe lease was up in March and we all went our own way. As of now, I have my own place with no roomates. I love it. There are benefits that come with that kind of freedom that I will be reluctant to part with. There are also responsibilities that I feel obliged to fulfill. All in all, I'm doing well, doing the best that I can. Work is going well, but after a while, all employment seems to resemble one another in terms of procedures and clock watching. I enjoy what I do for a living, but I still look forward to days off and not being there.
I don't usually party often...give me some sand, some surf some company, and a heineken and I'm good...a pretty smple life is all I'm looking for. I go to the movies once a week, just to get out of the house...sometimes olone, sometimes with friends.
Women....my goodness....I love em'. They stress me the hell out and unnecessarily complicate what should otherwise be a simple situation...but every now and then, one comes along and has the power to captivate...for better or worse....Women...without them, whats the point.
Started Scuba Diving....I really like it. It's a completely different world down there...in every sense of the word. But its a worl in which I feel, at least sometimes, more at home than I do on land. I've always been an odd guy in that respect, but the first time I went do...about 30 feet...the whould experience felt natural. To be quite honest, scuba diving, at least at this point, is the easiest endeavor or activity I have taken on and as long as it continues to interest me, I shall continue to progress. Not sure what I will do with this new skill, but that will work itself out in time.
I need to upload some of my pictures. Many of them are on facebook, so my friends on there can see them, but for those that aren't a part of this facebook world, I will see what I can do. I finally have a sense of freedom that I've been looking for, for a while. Nothing is perfect. there are still problems, trials, issues, miscommunications with people that lead to unnecessary conflict, but the flip side to that coin is that I can do what I want, when I want, how I want (for the most part). I find it fun trying to juggle all of these things on all of these levels of life at the same time. It's like a big game to me...and I like to win.
The library is closing now so I will end it here.
But for all those who are interested...keep checking this blog every now abd then...I'll do my best to update and upgrade.
ONE LOVE ALWAYS
KING II
"Eternal vigilence is the price of liberty." -Thomas Jefferson
I've learned alot about myself and others and I'm still only scratching the surface. I'm not sure what will become of this blog but for now, here it is, for whoever is listening. Even if I'm the only one following this, it's still theraputic in its own right.
So let's see. I lived with 3 other guys and a girl. THe lease was up in March and we all went our own way. As of now, I have my own place with no roomates. I love it. There are benefits that come with that kind of freedom that I will be reluctant to part with. There are also responsibilities that I feel obliged to fulfill. All in all, I'm doing well, doing the best that I can. Work is going well, but after a while, all employment seems to resemble one another in terms of procedures and clock watching. I enjoy what I do for a living, but I still look forward to days off and not being there.
I don't usually party often...give me some sand, some surf some company, and a heineken and I'm good...a pretty smple life is all I'm looking for. I go to the movies once a week, just to get out of the house...sometimes olone, sometimes with friends.
Women....my goodness....I love em'. They stress me the hell out and unnecessarily complicate what should otherwise be a simple situation...but every now and then, one comes along and has the power to captivate...for better or worse....Women...without them, whats the point.
Started Scuba Diving....I really like it. It's a completely different world down there...in every sense of the word. But its a worl in which I feel, at least sometimes, more at home than I do on land. I've always been an odd guy in that respect, but the first time I went do...about 30 feet...the whould experience felt natural. To be quite honest, scuba diving, at least at this point, is the easiest endeavor or activity I have taken on and as long as it continues to interest me, I shall continue to progress. Not sure what I will do with this new skill, but that will work itself out in time.
I need to upload some of my pictures. Many of them are on facebook, so my friends on there can see them, but for those that aren't a part of this facebook world, I will see what I can do. I finally have a sense of freedom that I've been looking for, for a while. Nothing is perfect. there are still problems, trials, issues, miscommunications with people that lead to unnecessary conflict, but the flip side to that coin is that I can do what I want, when I want, how I want (for the most part). I find it fun trying to juggle all of these things on all of these levels of life at the same time. It's like a big game to me...and I like to win.
The library is closing now so I will end it here.
But for all those who are interested...keep checking this blog every now abd then...I'll do my best to update and upgrade.
ONE LOVE ALWAYS
KING II
"Eternal vigilence is the price of liberty." -Thomas Jefferson
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Happy New Year
Well....2010 is over, and like every other year, it has gone by too quickly. Many changes have taken place, as they should and always will do. My New Year's was good...The original plan was to rent a car and drive to the french side of the Island and party it up...but factoring cost, gas, the traffic that would definitely be encountered, and the lack of finding a designated driver on New Years Eve (lol), we decided to just stay on the boardwalk...and just walk up and down, drinking the night away...and thats what we did...free drinks, Champagne, fireworks by the beach, more drinking, dancing, very good time indeed.
Yesterday...rather day before yesterday, was a hell of a day..not in a good way... but the headache is over, mostly.
My favorite author, rather, essayist, is Ralph Waldo Emerson....has been my favorite for many years.
Ralph Waldo Emerson on CHARACTER:
"This is a natural power, like light and heat, and all nature cooperates with it. The reason why we feel one man's presence and do not feel another's is as simple as gravity. Truth is the summit of being; justice is the application of it to affairs."
Yesterday...rather day before yesterday, was a hell of a day..not in a good way... but the headache is over, mostly.
My favorite author, rather, essayist, is Ralph Waldo Emerson....has been my favorite for many years.
Ralph Waldo Emerson on CHARACTER:
"This is a natural power, like light and heat, and all nature cooperates with it. The reason why we feel one man's presence and do not feel another's is as simple as gravity. Truth is the summit of being; justice is the application of it to affairs."
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